Oh the things I do.

Today I decided to be bold. I am in the McKay School of Education computer lab, the one that has nice headphones available next to every computer for students to use as they wish. Today I am using them. This is huge for me. Now all of you are super confused, but the last time I used headphones in a public study area (I take my aids out to use them, which then begin the prayers of hoping some cute guy doesn't come talk to me right then) - I had someone gently tell me my music was too loud. Of course I was absolutely mortified that other people could hear my music when I was straining to even hear it through my own ear buds, so I just got really good at studying in silence. But with the Christmas season so close, I just caved and anxiously put on these head phones. I'm now paranoid and just waiting for someone to tell me my Jim Brickman Christmas music is too loud... I really have no idea how loud it is for everyone else, I can barely hear it but I don't dare turn it up. I thought of how nice it would be to bring along one of my good friends and just ask them if they can hear my music every time I listen to it through head phones, a permanent noise level checker and study buddy, what could be better than that?!

I do a lot of subtle weird things subconsciously but mostly all because of my hearing loss. Emily, my amazing younger sister and hearing loss buddy, and I like to sit next to each other in church and of course when such good friends sit next to each other we like to 'whisper' whatever it actually is for everyone else. But on one occasion, I realized we were racking up an abnormally high number of 'what?s' so much that by the time we were commenting on the really cute boy bearing his testimony he was already sitting down. We quickly realized we were talking into each other's bad ears. What are the chances that her good ear is her left one and mine is my right one? Emily said there were none. :) How nice of Heavenly Father to plan out our better ear so much that we could still enjoy a conversation in church. So Emily always walks on my right side- and those that talk to me, find that I do a lot better when I'm on your left side. I've done things like pretend to tie my shoe or catch my foot on a crack in the sidewalk or observe the beautiful mountains or go in a different door or take the long way around a building or any slight delay to give me a chance to subtly slip over to the left side of someone to talk to them. My husband will probably loose some hearing in his left hear just from me talking into it all the time- for those who know the volume range of my voice would understand. I really do love to talk and if I'm quiet it's probably because I have no idea what's going on- some of my good friends are really good at picking up on it and we get a good laugh out of it- I hope you guys are never scared to strike up a conversation with me- I'll make my minor adjustments to try to get the most out of every conversation but sometimes it just doesn't measure up. It doesn't mean I'm mad or hate the world or unapproachable but just that I have no idea what's going on and am probably totally consumed by my thoughts about orange mini vans or something crazy like that. Ask me what I'm thinking when you catch me in a quiet spell- the answers are kind of fun sometimes. :)